In a short and engrossing narration, Toke Makinwa offers her readers a front row seat to her life experiences. Written with the finesse characteristic of few popular Nigerian memoirs like Goodluck Jonathan’s My Transition Hours, On Becoming is breathing creative non-fiction that advises in a subtle manner. The reader is made a student, learning from the life of Toke Makinwa, the famed Nigerian radio personality, television host and celebrity. In reading the controversial tell-all book, one is confronted with the questions: Is love blind? Can love be stupid and senseless? How best can one differentiate between love and infatuation? What exactly is the meaning of love?
On Becoming begins with Toke Makinwa narrating the melancholic tale of her family life; she talks extensively about losing her parents at the age of eight, in a home fire outbreak. She does not shy away from first recounting her less than pleasant upbringing and education, before highlighting the book’s pivotal topic: her abusive relationship with now ex-husband, Maje, who according to the writer, was in love with her – a notion that is rather confusing, considering his unrelenting infidelity. What is shocking is the fact that Maje’s escapades was no news to Makinwa, who also admits to being blindly in love and – ready to hold-on to the relationship at whatever cost. With a skillful use of suspense, the exciting and engaging memoir reaches its precipice with Toke’s account of the involvement of her friends, sisters and Maje’s own sister who advises Makinwa to quit the unwholesome relationship, “Maje’s sister ended our conversation with a warning: ‘Don’t marry my brother until you her from God directly’ (57). The book explores the theme of love and deceit, as the narrator admits to tying the knot with a man whose heart was divided among other women. The maxim “to be forewarned is to be forearmed” comes alive as the key takeaway from Makinwa’s narrative. It is hilarious and painful in a way, that Makinwa could have avoided her misfortune with all the signs and warnings. Using Toke Makinwa as case study, the book, On Becoming assumes that humans are most times, architects of their woes and that it is of greater advantage to avoid the troubles beforehand rather than suffer the accompanying psychological trauma.
The writer, by way of storytelling, leaves trails on successfully navigating one’s chosen career. Adding to the book’s strength,Makinwa’sOn Becoming alsode-familiarizes the reader from the cliché stories of personal upbringing and dysfunctional relationship; it negates the African logic that places the blame of failed marriage on women, without forthright consideration of the contributing factors.
What would be a little disappointing is Toke’s failure to throw light on her career in media— major part of her life that would not only balance out the memoir, but also serve as a pointer to young readers who may wish to glean a lesson or two from her experiences.
On a whole, On Becoming is a compelling read, one with valid moral lessons and raw truths. It is commendable that the author tells her life story, devoid of shame. Hers is a story of hope, of rising from the ashes and winning against all odds. As it is expected in memoirs, the caveat on the predominant subject addressed in the book is that, it is never ideal to draw conclusions from a one-sided tale, but this does not take from the fact thatOn Becoming is the book for the inquisitive reader looking for honesty, the book club in need of a captivating read and the young adult that could use a bit of caution.
A haiku enthusiast, book reviewer and contemporary critic, Nureni Ibrahim lives and writes somewhere in Nigeria. His writings are featured in The Mamba Journal, Shamrock, Heron’s Nest, Under the Basho, and others. He uses literature to soak boredom.
Hi,
Great review. I often find the occasional typo in my own work. Thought you may like to know that the quote, “don’t marry my brother until you her from God directly” needs an “a” and should read “hear”.